Thoughts after my day

OK.. Well today I sat from 9-6:30ish listening about 10 different kiddos situations. As I thought about my day and all I heard I question can we really help these kids? Are we really helping the situation or just delaying the inevitable? I know circumstances where we get outcomes that we call successful but could those kiddos have made it without CPS intervention anyway? Sometimes I feel like we are nothing more then abunch of Talking Heads analyzing the childs life.. watching from a far picking apart at the alien. Some kids break my heart.. We as adults see this potential, see this kid as an awesome leader or has something to offer this world but with all they have been through in there life they just can't see it for themselves. How many of our homeless, criminals, drug addicts, alcholics, and on and on really were these kids who have all this potential all to offer the world but they themselves can never see it. Unfortunately we can not save them all, there will always be homeless, criminals, drug addicts, alcholics, and on and on and some of which are tomorrows (list above) the very kids in foster care today. Sometimes is seems futile, sometimes it seems like we are spinning our wheels.. but then there is one or two who surprise us all and become or future nurses, doctors, child care workers, lawyers that have been to the bottom early in life and dug themselves out to change this world. THOSE ARE MY HEROS!! Those are the people who I admire most and I am thankful that through all the darkness that can surround my job there is hope and light. This is my prayer, for all the kids in foster care who everyone has let down, who has been thrown away from placement to placement, I pray for peace in your spirit, I pray for you to see your worth and to know that someone behind the scenes thinks you can do this, that you can make it and that your opinion is worth while!! I pray for you to find that thing that everyone is lookng for, your purpose, your place on this earth. We all have a place and a mission.. I pray you find yours! Mine is to pray for you and hope that I get a minute at least to let you know how important you are in this world!! Please keep fighting and know the harder things are in life the more you appreciate things and can give back. You are loved by the nameless, faceless people who make it their lifes work to care for you behind the scenes. GOD BLESS!!

A Whole New World

It has been a whole new world with my Jenny. She is ready to get up and go. She finally started sleeping through the night, she takes a brief morning nap and about an hour and half afternoon nap. Sounds normal huh!! THAT IS THE AMAZING thing to me!!! It is so strange how quickly it is like I have this baby who I no longer am worried about 24/7. I can actually sleep mostly through the night too. I still wake to check if she is breathing but I do not get out of bed to check I watch until I see the blanket move and go back to sleep from my bed. I am assuming this breathing check with go away at some point. It is awesome watching her start to grab for things for hours and not get worn out. She can play on the floor for hours seeing how many toys she can get wrapped around her arm..LOL she is sooo funny. I am getting excited with the new spoon feeding progress and for her to sit up on her own and so on. But I am taking in every moment trying not to miss anything. It has felt like we have had a newborn for 7 months and I really do not want to rest to go by so fast I miss a step. Thanks to everyone for the prayers. I really thought the anxious feeling in my chest would never leave but Peace and Rest are here. I watched my daughter tackle this surgery like it was nothing, with joy and with ease. So I am a proud mommy of a little girl stronger then I think I can ever be!!

Being a New Mom to a New Baby

Before the surgery, I had a quiet, sweet, baby who slept, ate, did her diaper business and smiled and cooed and her daddy and myself. NOW I have a sweet baby but she is anything but quiet, refuses to sleep and wants constant attention and wants all her demands met 5 mins before she started crying. LOL it is amazing. She definately likes some things and does not like others (especially her daddy or me leaving a room). Even if the other parent is in the room she shows her discomfort with the other one leaving. I know part of it is her being 6 months but another part of it is she now has the energy to show you what she really feels. And boy she can have a temper. It is awesome though. No matter what, not sleeping because she refuses too or if she is crying cause her music toy stopped playing music. Her cry, her smile, her looking at us like "what you expect me to sleep now?", whatever it is, is beautiful because she is here to do it. We are definately in for a brand new ride!! AND she is still healing!!!