Another Day

I was able to stay home with my little girl today! She has pretty much wanted me to hold her all day, sleeping for only 30 mins or so when I lay her down and then we start over. I have loved it!! I needed a day to do nothing else but hold my girl and talk and play with her. She is amazing. We have 5 more days until her surgery.. I am trying my best to not get anxious and just rest knowing God has this but the thought of her having to go through this is hard to face. I have no doubt she will go through this and heal quickly. It is just the going through it and anticipating getting on the other side of this mountain. I know we will all make it through stronger for just having gone through it. Please keep us in your prayers.

This is how I feel right now.. Exhausted and cozy at home. I had a rough day at work. I was very emotionaly challenged today. The hits just would not stop coming. I am very overwhelmed with work and awaiting Jenny's surgery. But there is nothing like having a bad day and coming home to a hubby that has cooked you dinner and daughter smiling so big the moment she sees you. Somehow it melts the anxiety completely away.

Each Day a Reminder

It is a blessing to have a reminder each day of the fragility of life. Jenny has taught me how to look at the truely important things in life. Those things being, loving God and trusting Him, surrounding yourself with those who love you no matter what, and letting all the rest come and go as it will. I can not express the strength this little miracle shows me everyday. I feel so weak next to her. On just about a weekly basis she has blood drawn, x-ray's done (she actually loves this one), and has to be tested for urine infections by being catherterized.

After all she has to go through she will smile at the doctors or nurses or lab tech who had to do these things to her. Every where she goes people are shocked at her ability to be so joyful and peaceful through this all. When she is hospitalized the nurses from the whole floor will come to see her because they say she is the happiest baby in there. Like I said she has shown me such strength that I am in awe. Maybe you will think I am crazy but I see the compassion she already has for others in so many ways. She looks with concern on the TV if she hears someone crying or someone who seems sad she will give them a quick smile. My husband and I are truely in awe of this amazing little girl who, as most children do, is teaching us more then I think we will really ever teach her.

A LOT HAS HAPPENED

Well this picture says it all. Since I last blogged I have gotten married and had a baby girl. Her name is Jennifer and she has been a miracle all the way around. First of all my doctor told me for years he was not sure how easy it would be for me to have a baby due to two surgeries for endometriosis. About four months into the pregnancy I almost miscarried but Jennifer hung on miraculously. The day after she was born we learned about something brand new and I am not talking about how to change a diaper but we learned about Tetrology of Fallot. My daughter had a hole in her heart. Jenny has had a heart cath and it showed that not only did she have a hole in her heart but also was born without her pulmonary artery. She has a duct that remained open at birth that is providing blood to her lungs. Amazingly enough she has done so much better then her doctors have expected and is just about ready for her open heart surgery to repair her defect. She will have to have several surgeries over her lifetime but I do not doubt that God will completely show off in her life as He is already doing. It has been a journey that has brought my husband and myself so much closer to each other and to God so already miracles are developing out of my baby girls life. She is an instrument of Joy and Peace and I am blessed that God is letting me be apart of her life.

Wordless Wednesday

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Friends

I recently have been back in contact with friends from my youth group. It is amazing to go down memory lane with them. So many fun, silly memories. Sometimes it seems life would be better if you could go back to those carefree days but isn't that just like our memory to forget all the bad stuff we went through. That makes me think of the Children of Israel wanting to go back to Egypt. So many times we go through things and maybe they were awesome fun things and maybe they were bad times that we struggled through but we went through them. Where we are now would not fit that place in the past and then we needed to be where we were so we could stand today. So I say all that to say this. I am thankful for my friends from my youth group. I am who I am today because of your encouragement and because of your walking this Christian walk with me. Thank you for going with me and thank you for keeping in touch with me. Lets keep marching on to the new places in God because we still have mountains and valleys to get through! GOD BLESS

NEW JOB

I am so excited! I got my dream job! I recently graduated in December and have been searching for a job in Foster care. I was hired yesterday for a job where I will be an Admissions Specialist, which means I will interview Foster families and place the right foster child with the right foster family. I am so excited to be walking into this job. Even as I type tears well up in my eyes because it feels like I am walking into my destiny. I will need every prayer I can get for this job but I know I will love every moment of it. Just to know everyday I will go to work and be able to connect Foster parents with children who need them is so amazing. I also realize having worked in this field previously that everyone who signs up as foster parents do not have the most honest of intentions. I will need decernment and guidance beyond my own wisdom and knowledge. So please pray for me! God Bless!!